I took my pride off the lowest shelf that day
And held it in my hand.
Your glance touched mine,
And it melted.
I poured that soft
timid liquid into a locket
That perched on the beat that I dream to,
March to,
And scream to
Over the passion that you always find a way to breach.
My locket broke
And I tied my favorite shoes with it.
You smiled at me,
Told me:
That's all I am
And all I'll ever be.
So I ran
As if you were going to catch me.
I knew I'd never let you.
I smiled back at you,
gave you my shoes,
And asked you
If you'd mind putting them back
On the highest shelf
Of the tiny wooden room
Where I keep the spirit
I'll never let you slay.
4 comments:
i love the meaning in this piece. an image every person can relate to. :]]] love.
love the lines "perched on the beat that i dream to, etc." so good.
although i do understand the rigid pace of the piece [yay alliteration!], i thought maybe you could add some words to some of the shorter stanzas. that way the syllables can keep up with each other, and the rhythm isn't so break-y. you know what i mean?
the first line of the last stanza, eliminate the word back.
title? maybe something like, ghost of the boy who... insert what he means to you. obviously he still exists so play with that image a bit.
:]
I LOVE IT! my favorite part is so i ran as if you were going to catch me. i knew i'd never let you. I really really like that. I like how you use a locket in the poem too. good job
This is really amazing. I'm very impressed.
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